• Contact
  • Account
    • Become an Affiliate
    • Sign Up for Deals

    • Login
Book Cave: free ebooks!
Book Cave
Connecting the RIGHT readers with the RIGHT books
  • About
    • Book Cave Reviews
    • Who We Are
      • Mission
      • In the Works
      • Book Cave Logos
      • Meet the Ratings
    • Privacy Center
      • Privacy & Terms
      • Your Privacy Rights
    • Affiliate Program Agreement
    • Trademarks
  • Current Deals
    • Deals from Retailers
    • Book Cave Direct Deals
      • Exclusive Ebook Downloads
      • Free Group Deals
    • Giveaways
      • Win a Free Ereader!
      • Last Giveaway Winner
      • Past Winners
  • Readers
    • Sign Up
    • Rated Books Database
    • Rate a book I’ve read
    • Browse Author Pages
    • Reader FAQ
    • Reader Blog
    • Giveaways
      • Win a Free Ereader!
      • Last Giveaway Winner
      • Past Winners
  • Authors
    • How It Works
    • Our Services
      • Feature Your Book
      • Group Features
      • Subscriber Magnet Services
      • MBR Ratings
      • Create an Author Page
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Pricing
    • Submit a Book
    • Create Account
    • Become an Affiliate
    • Author Resources
      • Author Blog
      • Author FAQ
      • Promotion Tips
      • Cover Guide Calculator
  • Book Swag
  • Contact
  • Account
    • Become an Affiliate
    • Sign Up for Deals

    • Login
  • About
    • Book Cave Reviews
    • Who We Are
      • Mission
      • In the Works
      • Book Cave Logos
      • Meet the Ratings
    • Privacy Center
      • Privacy & Terms
      • Your Privacy Rights
    • Affiliate Program Agreement
    • Trademarks
  • Current Deals
    • Deals from Retailers
    • Book Cave Direct Deals
      • Exclusive Ebook Downloads
      • Free Group Deals
    • Giveaways
      • Win a Free Ereader!
      • Last Giveaway Winner
      • Past Winners
  • Readers
    • Sign Up
    • Rated Books Database
    • Rate a book I’ve read
    • Browse Author Pages
    • Reader FAQ
    • Reader Blog
    • Giveaways
      • Win a Free Ereader!
      • Last Giveaway Winner
      • Past Winners
  • Authors
    • How It Works
    • Our Services
      • Feature Your Book
      • Group Features
      • Subscriber Magnet Services
      • MBR Ratings
      • Create an Author Page
    • Submission Guidelines
    • Pricing
    • Submit a Book
    • Create Account
    • Become an Affiliate
    • Author Resources
      • Author Blog
      • Author FAQ
      • Promotion Tips
      • Cover Guide Calculator
  • Book Swag
Interviews
20 Mar 2020 at 08:40 PM PDT
Updated 9 months ago

How My Dysfunctional Childhood Inspired The Illusion of a Girl

By LeeAnn Werner

Subscribe for book deals

Advertisement

Browse by topic

All Posts Book Lovers Book Products Book Reviews Fun Facts Holidays Interviews Literature News Prizes! Quizes Quotes Reading Challenge Reading Tips Updates

dysfunction childhood inspired Illusions of a Girl

I'm a book wyrm
We hope you enjoy reading this post!
If you’re like us and love to read, then click here to score tons of free and discounted ebooks.

My book The Illusion of a Girl is fueled by my own soul crushing, tension-filled childhood. I had done lots of work to heal myself prior to writing the book, but writing it was cathartic as well. It doesn’t hurt to talk about my experiences. The sting and anger are gone. I understand my parents, their backgrounds and motivations. I searched for answers and I found them.

I see so many people like myself who have or had crappy childhoods, and my heart breaks for them. I feel their hurt and loss. When your parents don’t honor and love you, it leaves a hole you will need to work very hard to fill. Surviving is not about burying what happened or trying to forget about it. You need to examine it, understand it, forgive your parents, and let it go. Healing has taken my whole life so far and I think I’m just over the biggest hurdle.

By the time I was sixteen, I held the firm notion that I wanted to be nothing like my parents when I grew up. In my sixteen-year-old perfectly healthy mind and body, I saw my parents as weak. My mother allowed my father to abuse us. I thought she should have protected us. I begged her to kick our father out of the house. She never did because she held her needs above ours.

I thought my father with his drinking and ridiculous temper was the scum of the earth. (He passed over 25 years ago.) I wrote my story so people could relate to my experiences and learn how I survived it.  I try to live my life consciously and truly think about what I want out of life.  I had so much I wanted to prove to my parents and to myself about how I would live a healthier life.

I have achieved a healthier life and have broken the cycle of dysfunctional family for my children. If I do nothing else in this life, that is enough. My dysfunctional family went back so many generations. All families have some level of dysfunction, but there are core truths for a functional family. A functioning family share these characteristics: adequate financial support; love and caring for other family members; security and a sense of belonging; open communication; making each person within the family feel important, valued, and respected.

I haven’t done everything perfectly. I learn the hard way, so I’ve made so many mistakes. I looked for men to love me since I didn’t find it at home. I picked some men who were not good to me. I had to learn to love myself, which is something I still work on. In my book I share my thoughts, feelings, and conscious decision to not be like my parents with the hope that those subtle messages help someone who is going through or has gone through something similar.

No matter where you begin in life, the life you lead is entirely up to you.

Want great ebook deals sent straight to your inbox? We’ve got you covered!
Send me free ebooks
Copyright 2020 by LeeAnn Werner
Reuse notice: Non-commercial users, feel free to print out “How My Dysfunctional Childhood Inspired The Illusion of a Girl” for personal use or give to friends, share online, or make a meme of, as long as you attribute and link back to this post. Commercial users, you may share a link to this post or quote a short excerpt from it with attribution and a link to this site, but you may not use this post in its entirety. Thank you for caring about copyright.

Avatar for LeeAnn Werner
LeeAnn Werner

LeeAnn Werner is a marketing consultant, blogger, and author. LeeAnn holds a bachelor’s degree from Bowling Green State University in Journalism. She lives in Illinois with her wonderful husband, three beautiful children, and one super-hyper dog. You can check out her webpage and blog at www.illusionofagirl.com.


Share this post

Keep Reading

cycle of betrayal portrayed in illusions of a girl

The Cycle of Betrayal Portrayed in The Illusion of a Girl (And How You Heal from It)

I grew up in a dysfunctional family and wrote a fictionalized account of it in The Illusion of a Girl. I went to therapy, but what I didn’t realize was my healing journey would be similar to peeling an onion.

research for historical fiction

Doing Research for Historical Fiction . . . and Finding Magic

When I write historical fiction, sometimes something very odd happens, where I believe I have invented something and then find out that it is actually true. That’s where the magic comes in . . .

the book that made me a reader

The Book that Made Me a Reader

It’s very hard to pinpoint exactly when I started to enjoy reading. But this book had an impact on me, and I can say with certainty it was the first book that stayed with me long after I finished it, the first time I was truly invested in a story.

Hello fellow book lover! We hope you are enjoying this post.
If you want free, content-rated ebooks that you can download straight from your favorite retailer, just sign up for our free newsletter
Sign me up!

Leave a Reply

Cancel


Comments

  1. Yvette Nolen
    Yvette Nolen • 2 years ago

    How sad it is to see how your difficult childhood resonates with so many others. I too had an upbringing I would rather forget however, after many years of anger and resentment, I chose to forgive so I could start to heal the little girl inside of me. I also made a conscious decision to “see” my children and be there to, love, hug, listen and do all I could to help strengthen their self confidence. They’re now adults and my conscious efforts to ensure they grew up knowing how much I love them has affected them differently. My Son, the eldest, is very loving and affectionate with me but lacks self confidence, whereas my Daughter is extremely self confident but displays a certain disdain toward me, despite acknowledging her happy childhood. I’m now 54 years old, completely intimidated by my 25 year old Daughter and feel like I’m still that lonely insecure child I was, desperately wanting my mother to show me the love I so needed except I want it from my Daughter.

    Reply
    • LeeAnn Werner
      LeeAnn Werner Yvette Nolen • 2 years ago

      Hi Yvette,
      I’m sorry your having that experience with your daughter. Is counseling an option for you to work through it? If not, Alanon meetings are a great way to get support for free and work through your feelings. Please give the love you deserve to yourself.

      Reply
  2. C.S. Kjar
    C.S. Kjar • 2 years ago

    I’ve known/met/seen people from bad homes that had the fortitude to change their lives like you have. I’ve also known/met/seen people from bad homes who perpetuated the cycle. Any ideas on why some children seem to have the strength to “change their stars” and others don’t seem to? Is there something people can do to help them find a better way? It’s a question I’ve wondered about for a long time.

    Reply
    • LeeAnn Werner
      LeeAnn Werner C.S. Kjar • 2 years ago

      Hi, I’m not exactly sure why some don’t pursue healing. It seems like its too painful for them, but sometimes nudges or guidance in the right direction helps. Possibly mention ways to heal and let them know where or who they could chat with for more help or information.

      Reply
  3. Debbie Nehoff
    Debbie Nehoff • 2 years ago

    Where can I get this book. Doesn’t seem to be onAmazonkindle.

    Reply
    • Tony Braxton
      Tony Braxton Debbie Nehoff • 2 years ago

      Hi Debbie.
      I’ve put the link in the body of the post.
      Tony

      Reply
    • LeeAnn Werner
      LeeAnn Werner Debbie Nehoff • 2 years ago

      I just added it to Amazon Kindle : )

      Reply
  4. Judy
    Judy • 2 years ago

    This sounds like the kind of book I love to read

    Reply
  5. JP
    JP • 2 years ago

    If only we could live our lives backwards.
    Kudos to you….
    Some of us are still searching.

    Reply
  6. Peggy Murphy
    Peggy Murphy • 2 years ago

    LeeAnn, I totally understand your history. I also made decisions to raise my children, grandchildren & now greats to live a healthy life then mine. Four (plus myself) of my six siblings have achieved this. Our stories are sadly not unique, but they can be overcome. God Bless

    Reply
Receive free ebooks on Amazon Kindle from Book Cave
Receive free ebooks on Apple Books from Book Cave
Receive free ebooks on Google Play from Book Cave
Receive free ebooks on Kobo from Book Cave
Receive free ebooks on Nook from Book Cave
Receive free ebooks on Smashwords from Book Cave
Book Cave
Book Cave Direct
My Book Ratings
MY BOOK RATINGS
Connecting the RIGHT readers with the RIGHT books
  • Sitemap
  • Contact Us
  • Free ebooks
© Book Cave - All the rights reserved!

Sign up for our ebook deals and we'll enter you to win a new Kindle 7. We're giving one away each month!

Get Ready for Free Ebooks!

Let us know where we should send your free and discounted ebooks deals. (And who to notify in case of a win!)