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Literature
21 Nov 2017 at 10:05 PM PST
Updated 4 months ago

19 Things Books Would Say if Books Could Talk

By Sarah Mecham

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talking books

I'm a book wyrm
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If you’re a book lover, then books have probably infiltrated every aspect of your life. In fact, it’s probably hard for someone to find you without a book in your hand or a book nearby, on call. And through all this time, books have shared their stories with you like whispers drifting off the pages. But, have you ever wondered what books might say outside of their carefully constructed stories if books could talk? We have, and we’ve constructed some of the sentences we think our sassy novels might say to us. Do you think your books could relate to any of these?

  1. “I’m all for an early morning reading sesh, but could you please brush your teeth first?”
  2. “Why must you always pick the grimiest, greasiest food to eat while you read? I’ll never get all these Cheetos and chocolate smudges off my pages!”
  3. *Singing from the shelf as you walk by* “I could show you the world. Shining, shimmering, splen . . . And there they go . . . rats. I’ll never get read at this rate.”
  4. “Hello? Anyone out there? I’ve been left open, my spin is breaking, and I can’t breathe! Send help!”
  5. “Gee! It sure feels good to stretch my pages again after being stuck on that cramped shelf for ages.”
  6. “Pardon me, but are you seriously taking a bath right now? You know I’m not water-proof right? Was that a splash? Ick, your fingers are so damp.”
  7. “What? You’re shelving me next to that book? But I’m wayyy better than that wannabe story.”
  8. “Oh, no. Please don’t tell me you’re going to try and cram yet another book onto this shelf.”
  9. “Tee, hee. You’re tickling my pages.”
  10. “It’s so nice to take a break from the bookshelf for a few days and take a turn around the house.”
  11. “What are you doing? Are you really skipping to the end? But you haven’t even made it through the first three chapters yet!”
  12. “Hey, sweaty fingers, maybe it’s time we take this reading session inside for a bit.”
  13. “Are you cheating on me? I saw the way you were looking at that other romance novel.”
  14. “I see you going for my corner again. Don’t even think about dog-earing me again.  You know they invented bookmarks for a reason right? My poor, poor pages.”
  15. “I love late night cuddles. Oh wait, why are your eyes drifting close? And now you’re drooling on my pages! Nice!”
  16. “Yes, I need to report some missing pages. They were last seen in the toddler’s hands.”
  17. “Hey Mr. Big Shot Book. You just think you’re so great because you were on the New York Times Bestsellers list. But behind that gaudy, review-drenched cover, you’re just pages like the rest of us.”
  18. “Hey, fella, do you think we might be reading too close to the water? Cause I think we might be reading too close to the water.”
  19. “I’m going in the purse! What fun! I wonder where we’re going?”

What kind of things do you think your books might say if books could talk? Tell us in the comments!

Happy reading!

Do you have a blog idea or topic you know our readers would love? Contact sarah@mybookcave.com to learn how you could get your blog featured.

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Avatar for Sarah Mecham
Sarah Mecham

Have you ever met a person who seems like they have a new hobby every day? That’s Sarah.

However, one hobby of her’s has never changed, and that’s reading. She’s been an avid reader for as long as she can remember, crushing summer reading challenges and getting in heated debates with her friends.

Sarah also enjoys all things shopping, marketing, and homesteading related. She is a huge DIYer, loves cuddling her dog and reptiles, and raising her two incredibly independent toddlers.


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Comments

  1. Miya❣️❣️
    Miya❣️❣️ • 2 years ago

    It so good

    Reply
  2. Diva bansal
    Diva bansal • 3 years ago

    Hmm….you are amazing i mean you wrote ideas so spectacularly … it was fun reading your ideas … thanks anyway.

    Reply
  3. Danielle
    Danielle • 5 years ago

    Yeah! I just want to get my pages turn. I’m so excited to be read again!!!!!!

    Reply
  4. Eliza
    Eliza • 5 years ago

    I’m so I can’t breathe and full don’t you think I need another shelf before you try and squeeze another book in here !

    Reply
  5. Maggie
    Maggie • 5 years ago

    My books might be saying “Hey you keep buying new books everyday, but when are you going to start reading us,”

    Reply
  6. Maxilyn
    Maxilyn • 5 years ago

    What? You’re downloading yet another book?! You’re rotating among three books already, and I’m smothering–smothering I tell you!–under this TBR pile.

    Reply
  7. Kate
    Kate • 5 years ago

    E-reader,”I am the most modern sensational way to be read.I can be read in zee dark. I am able to save my work, build collections, have friends all over zee world! I am just wonderful! ” Much loved childhood book- “Ah, but I remember every tear she shed over me, how she would read under the covers, take me on sleepovers &, when she got married, took me with her. By the way, is your program crashing? Guess the pile of real books will be brought out to savour until the fixer fixes or replaces that loudmouth jerk of an e reader.It keeps accidentally deleting her books too, which upsets her. I know he has a place in her life but I am her first love.”

    Reply
    • Lizzie
      Lizzie Kate • 5 years ago

      I am on my 3rd papeewhite, 2nd tablet, and after 7 crashes where I lose my collection, I know my bookshelves are yelling your comment at me.

      Reply
  8. Diane
    Diane • 5 years ago

    All of them. I’m very hard
    on all books. They live with me. I loose them. Give up looking and start a new one. That book is laying there going “I am here! I am here!”

    Reply
  9. Patti
    Patti • 5 years ago

    I can totally understand. I have heard some of these comments ,myself, as I passed by my own bookcase.

    Reply
  10. L T
    L T • 5 years ago

    He said “Choose – it’s me or the books”. I’m so glad she chose more space for my series of books ;-).

    Reply
  11. Jackie
    Jackie • 5 years ago

    How come you’re rereading that book and not me. I’m better
    I told my friends that I look as good as the day I came here

    Reply
    • Sarah James
      Sarah James Jackie • 5 years ago

      These are great! Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  12. Dahlia
    Dahlia • 5 years ago

    Hey, you! You don’t have the right to close me yet! I’m not done for today and i don’t care that it’s already morning! – that’s what my books would say

    Reply
    • Sarah James
      Sarah James Dahlia • 5 years ago

      I totally understand! Some books just don’t want to be put down.

      Reply
  13. lana turner
    lana turner • 5 years ago

    wow i have been read so quickly, so now what? forget all about me or what?

    Reply
    • Sarah James
      Sarah James lana turner • 5 years ago

      So true! It’s great to meet a fellow fast reader.

      Reply
      • lana turner
        lana turner Sarah James • 5 years ago

        i usually lend my books out to fellow readers , so that is what’s next in line for the book on its adventure, cause i hate to just read a book once and leave it on the shelf to gather dust so to speak!!

        Reply
        • Sarah James
          Sarah James lana turner • 5 years ago

          That’s great! I love that you do that. I gave many of my old middle-school books to a school so that they weren’t just sitting on my shelves being neglected.

          Reply
  14. L T
    L T • 5 years ago

    I’m a civilized book…only history graces my pages. (This was said by the history book to the romance book on the shelf.)

    Reply
    • Sarah James
      Sarah James L T • 5 years ago

      Love it! You’re great at this!

      Reply
  15. L T
    L T • 5 years ago

    The Dog! The Dog! Arrrggggh! Sob. It was my best cover, and now the darn dog is going for the back! (big screams as dog eats back cover and starts eating pages! )

    Reply
    • Sarah James
      Sarah James L T • 5 years ago

      Oh, yes! A couple of my books have definitely fallen victim to my huskies before.

      Reply
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