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I am known as The Widow to those in the BDSM community. This is my journey, chronicled in journals, diaries, text, and email. A word of warning—not everything, or everyone, is as it appears.
In the beginning, it was good . .
That’s how I look back on this time in my life. In my sexual prime, a widow escaping the mundane, seeking the darker art of romance. Romance? Ha! It was an obsession, a compulsion to discover the sensual being hidden for so many years.
I was a fool.
I ran rampant with the fever of sexual discovery, from submission to Dominance, edge play to slavery, I was willing to try it all. I would seek out willing participants in debauchery from online sex sites to chat forums. It didn’t matter. It was safe to play online, to meet in groups of likeminded people intent on pleasure.
Or so I thought.
When drugs and alcohol make the mind blurry and the hands unsteady, someone could get hurt. When the highs of pleasure can go no higher, when slavery and edge play take on dangerous thrills for the Dominant and frightening scenarios for the submissive, it is time to safe word out. So, I did.
But no one listened.
Now I must live with the consequences. I must decide to run away or face the challenge before me. I must discern the truth from the Lustful Lies.