You Know You’re an Author When…

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Are you really an author? Sometimes we all need a little break from writing and the craziness of life. Here are 25 funny ways you can tell that you are an author!

You know you’re an author when . . .

1. You hear voices.
2. You talk to the voices and write down what they say.
3. You also have conversations with the characters in your books.
4. Every imaginary or real-life conversation and experience is at risk of being inserted into one of your books.
5. You may zone out in the middle of a conversation so you can continue writing your book in your head.
6. You have tons of great ideas in bed, in the shower, etc., but once you get to the computer they seem to disappear.
7. You often wake up in the middle of the night with an idea you know will sweep the world with its novelty. It is so great, you don’t bother to write it down because there is no way you could forget. But upon waking you can’t remember any of it.
8. A pandemic makes you think of new series idea.
9. A random comment makes you think of a new series idea.
10. Okay, just about everything makes you think of a new book or series idea.
11. You know random facts that most normal people wouldn’t care about.
12. People may think you’re an introvert, but the truth is, your imaginary friends are just way more interesting than real people.
13. You’re quite good at listening in on other people’s interesting conversations without being spotted—they’re great inspiration for your books!
14. You talk to yourself out loud in public.
15. You corner strangers in the grocery store to talk to them about an interesting book idea you just had.
16. You have to stop whatever you’re doing so you can write down a brilliant book idea.
17. Something bad happens and the first thought that pops into your head is, “At least I can write realistically about an experience like this in my books now.”
18. You find yourself narrating the day’s events in your head in third person as they happen.
19. Your text messages use proper grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. Or you go back and correct yourself and appologize about the errors.
20. You leave the house to get some grocery shopping done, but you start thinking about your book plot and find yourself two cities away with no idea how you got there.
21. You research fifty different ways to hide a dead body.
22. You know what poisons are fast acting and leave little trace.
23. You’ve come up with a hundred alternatives to writing “he said” without using a -ly adverb.
24. You go through every document you write to take out “then” and “that.”
25. You have begun to wear hats.

Have any more ways that you can know you’re an author? We’d love to hear in the comments below!