80 Hilarious Library Jokes, Quotes, and Puns for Book Lovers

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If you’re looking for some bookish laughs, you’ve come to the write place! Whether you’re a dedicated bibliophile, a weekend page-turner, or just someone who thinks “book it” is a fun pun, this list is for you. We’ve scoured the literary world for the funniest library jokes, clever quotes, and pun-tastic humor that will have you saying, “You’ve got to be kitten me!” (Don’t worry—we left room for the cat jokes, too.)

So, grab a cozy seat, a steaming cup of tea, and prepare to laugh like no one’s listening library. Let’s dive into these literary gems!

Library Jokes

1. Why did the library book feel so confident?
   It had spine!
2. Why don’t skeletons fight over library books?
   They don’t have the guts to argue!
3. What’s a librarian’s favorite kind of music?
   Read-ing and writing!
4. Why did the librarian slip on the library floor?
   She was in the non-friction section.
5. How do librarians flirt?
   They check you out!
6. Why are libraries the best places to hide from ghosts?
   They go through all the shelves but can’t find you!
7. What do librarians bring to gym class?
   Book weights.
8. What’s a librarian’s favorite vegetable?
   Quiet peas.
9. Why did the library hire a personal trainer?
   It needed to build its circulation.
10. What’s a library’s favorite dinosaur?
    The Thesaurus!
11. Why don’t libraries ever play poker?
    Too many bookworms.
12. Why did the librarian get kicked out of karaoke night?
    She kept shushing everyone.
13. What did one book say to the other?
    “Stop being such a drama shelf!”
14. Why are books always warm?
    Because they’re in the “hot off the press” section.
15. What did the librarian say to the overdue book?
    “I’m over it!”
16. Why did the math book feel so sad?
    It had too many problems.
17. What’s a librarian’s favorite treat?
    A book-ie!
18. Why did the kid eat his homework?
    Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
19. How do you organize an outer space library?
    You planet!
20. Why are books bad at keeping secrets?
    They always have a tell-all chapter.

Punny Library and Book Puns

1. “You’ve got to be shelf-ish to love libraries as much as I do.”
2. “Feeling overbooked? Time to check out!”
3. “I’m not lazy—I’m on a chapter break.”
4. “Keep calm and carpe librum (seize the book).”
5. “Let’s taco-bout how great this book is!”
6. “You’re never too old to get carded… by a librarian.”
7. “Shelf improvement is the best kind of improvement.”
8. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
9. “Fiction addiction: the struggle is real.”
10. “Why don’t books ever get cold? Because they have covers.”
11. “What’s the best way to organize a library? By dewey-ciding as you go.”
12. “I tried to write a library pun, but it was overdue.”
13. “A pun about books? That’s novel.”
14. “Want to hear a book joke? Nevermind, I’ll shelf it.”
15. “Once you’ve read a good book, you can’t un-read it. It’s novel forever.”
16. “Time flies when you’re having fun—and turning pages.”
17. “Don’t judge a book by its movie adaptation.”
18. “Read books. They’re the only things that will never ghost you.”
19. “Why did the book go on a diet? Too many chapters.”
20. “Curl up with a good book—it’s the ultimate comfort.”

Book Quotes with a Twist

1. “Libraries: where shh happens.”
2. “I like big books and I cannot lie.”
3. “Reading: the only adventure where you can travel the world and never leave your chair.”
4. “I have too many books… said no book lover ever!”
5. “A room without books is like a body without a soul—unless you’ve loaned them all out and nobody returned them.”
6. “There’s no such thing as too many books. Only not enough shelves.”
7. “Books: because reality is overrated.”
8. “I’m on a seafood diet: I see books and I read them.”
9. “Bookmarks are for quitters.”
10. “Behind every great reader is a stack of unread books whispering, ‘Soon.’”
11. “To read or not to read? That is a silly question.”
12. “My favorite exercise is running out of bookshelf space.”
13. “I’ve got 99 problems, and they’re all in my TBR pile.”
14. “Books: the only addiction society approves of.”
15. “If books are your escape, your library is a wonderland.”
16. “Books are my best friends—they’re always there, and they never interrupt.”
17. “Every book is a new world waiting to be explored.”
18. “There’s no Wi-Fi in libraries, but the connection is priceless.”
19. “I could spend all day in a library, and still wish for more time.”
20. “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends.”

Fun for the Whole Book Club

1. “Wine + books = the ultimate pairing.”
2. “Book clubs: where ‘one more chapter’ is the ultimate lie.”
3. “I told my book club I’d finish the book on time. That was fiction.”
4. “The only drama I enjoy is between book characters.”
5. “Joining a book club: the first rule is to always have snacks. The second rule is to have more snacks.”
6. “What happens in book club stays in book club… unless it’s a really juicy novel!”
7. “Book clubs are proof that snacks and stories belong together.”
8. “In our book club, spoilers are the only crime.”
9. “Books: the best excuse to ignore your phone for hours.”
10. “Book clubs are my therapy, one chapter at a time.”

Bonus Puns for Cat-Loving Readers

1. “Purr-haps I need to add another book to my collection.”
2. “This novel is paws-itively gripping.”
3. “You’ve cat to be kitten me with that plot twist!”
4. “Reading in a library is the purr-fect way to spend a day.”
5. “I’m not kitten—you need to read this book.”
6. “Let’s paws and talk about that ending!”
7. “I’m feline good about this stack of books.”
8. “Every good library needs a cat—fact.”
9. “I’ve got a cattitude for reading today.”
10. “You must be claw-some to recommend such great books.”

Conclusion: Share the Laughs!

We hope these jokes, quotes, and puns brought a smile to your face—or at least made you roll your eyes in the best possible way (you know, like after a good Dad joke). Books have the power to transport, inspire, and teach us, but sometimes, they’re also just downright funny. So, the next time someone asks if you’ve read anything funny lately, you’ll be ready to check out these witty gems.

Do you have a favorite book pun or library joke? Share it in the comments—we love hearing from our fellow book lovers!