The bonds I have with my brothers and sister are the most enduring family connections I’ve experienced. We didn’t compete for our parents’ love and attention but joined together to survive the alcoholic rampages of our father. I use the term Father because Dad feels too personal, too connected for me. I severed all ties with him for my own safety and sanity.
My books, The Illusion of a Girl and The Illusion of a Boy, show the bond between a sister and brother. I’m attached to all my siblings, but I focused on one relationship to poignantly portray our connection. I’m the youngest of four children.
Fun fact, my brother did bust out my front tooth in a neighbor’s pool and I accurately recount the incident in my first book. Who’s to blame is still a hotly debated topic between us.
Physical injuries aside, my relationship with my siblings has significantly shaped my personality. There is nothing like the raw, unfiltered, “we’re forced to live together” relationship of sisters and brothers. We learned so much from each other, such as sharing, caring, and loyalty. And let’s not forget the very valuable lesson of conflict avoidance and resolution. We also built a foundation of love, trust, and a lifelong support system. Long after your parents are gone, hopefully you’ll have each other.
No one’s opinion mattered more to me than theirs. They could crush or uplift me with simple words. They did crush me at times, as all brothers and sisters do, but for the most part, we supported each other. Our parents had little to offer in terms of emotional attachment. We survived. I don’t think any of us thrived until we were able to leave our childhood home. You can’t thrive if you aren’t safe.
My longest relationship on earth will be with them. They have influenced and shaped me since I was born and still do today. I call them if I’m excited, mad, sad, or worried. It was my brothers who told me what college courses to take and how to study. I haven’t always taken their advice, but I have listened.
We don’t always get along, but our bond has endured. My sister passed recently, and it has been heartbreaking for our entire family. If you have siblings, I pray you have healthy and loving relationships with them.
Please check out my books, and I hope you enjoy them immensely. You can also read my blog on dysfunctional family at illusionofagirl.com.
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