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We love books and libraries and we love laughing, so what better idea than to combine them? Here are some library jokes to give you a laugh today!
DEWEY have any library jokes?
I asked the librarian if they have the new book about Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog having adventures. They said it rings a bell, but they don’t know if it’s there.
What’s the tallest building in town? The library. It has the most stories.
Not sure I believe that, seems like a tall tale.
Why did the cardiologist recommend that his patients go to the library? He heard they’re good for circulation.
I went to the library and asked the librarian where I could find books about conspiracy theories. She leaned over and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
How do librarians flirt? They ask for your call number.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers. The librarian says,
I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
Why did the librarian get fired? He was always checked out.
I went to the library asked for books about turtles.
Librarian: “Hardbacks?”
Me: “Yes, with little heads.”
How do libraries make sure novels stay warm? They give them book jackets.
I asked the librarian for books on comedy. She said, “That’s a funny question.”
I had a great library joke, but I had to return it.
What do librarians take fishing? Bookworms.
Librarians love a good joke—they always get the reference.
Why is a math book always unhappy? Because it always has a lot of problems.
I asked the librarian if he knew the author of a dinosaur book. He said, “Try Sarah Topps.”
Why can’t librarians finish mystery books? They keep reading between the lines.
I wanted to visit the world’s biggest library, but it was overbooked.
A blonde walks into a library and says in a loud voice, “I want a cheeseburger and fries, please.” The librarian leans forward and quietly tells the blonde, “This is a library, miss.” The blonde replies, “Oh sorry,” and whispers, “I want a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
What do librarians do after they retire? They get ready for a new chapter in their life.
Why did the ghost come back to the library every day? She went through her books too quickly.
I came here to find some good jokes about libraries, but I can’t find any, so I’ll see my shelf out.
Sorry for all of the library jokes. I’ll put them on hold.
Which library joke was your favorite? Have any to add? Let us know in the comments below!
My favorite joke was the one about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. It’s one of those IYKYK jokes.