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Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go Paperback – May 8, 2023

by Amanda McKoy Flanagan (Author)
4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 118 ratings
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A Boundless Quest for Emotional Freedom and Soul Evolution

Everyone leaves you or hurts you. This false myth of generational family dysfunction, compounded through trauma, appeared frighteningly true to Amanda the moment her brother overdosed and died. Devastated, she shined up the emotional armor she wore to protect herself from pain and soldiered on. But a decade of self-reflection and personal growth in 12-step recovery could not save her from herself. Attempting to destroy everything around her, including her troubled marriage, she experienced a spiritual awakening that radically transformed deeply engrained lies about love, loss, and connection. Lies she didn’t even know she believed.

Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go is a pragmatic yet soulful inspirational memoir delivering uncompromising self-love that heals deep wounds. Amanda’s revealing, thought-provoking narrative will guide you to find comfort in your emotions and meaning in your suffering, while organically bridging an inseverable, trustworthy connection with self, others, and the universe.

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Previous page
  1. Print length
    234 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    May 8, 2023
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.59 x 8.5 inches
  5. ISBN-13
    979-8985673500
  6. See all details
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From the Publisher

nonfiction memoir grief loss love connection relationships marriage addiction recovery
nonfiction memoir grief loss love connection relationships marriage addiction recovery
nonfiction memoir grief loss love connection relationships marriage addiction recovery

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A startling beginning kickstarts this straightforward memoir, and Flanagan immediately dives into her process of healing, serving as a guide while she gives readers a chance to experience her story and learn to heal their own wounds at the same time. MixingFlanagan's story with her sincere advice is a refreshing approach. It's evident she speaks from experience, and her style offers readers the chance to personalize her wisdom for their own lives. Flanagan is honest and transparent, and her story is a good example of what it takes for someone to work through loss and addiction." —BookLife Prize

"There is no one-size-fits-all way to navigate grief and addiction; the expansive self-help guide Trust Yourself to Be All In acknowledges this alongside an inspiring account of how one woman pieced together wisdom from a variety of philosophies to address her own trauma. Incorporating wisdom from Buddhism, Christianity, the social sciences, and New Age philosophies, this is a diverse but comprehensive guide to healing from loss. It espouses beliefs in souls and past lives and shifts blame for one's hardships to the individual soul, suggesting the importance of taking personal responsibility for actions and their outcomes."—Foreword Clarion Reviews

"The loss of her beloved brother to a drug overdose sets a woman on a deeper quest for spiritual and emotional health in this memoir and self-help guide...Flanagan takes readers along on a tour of healing modalities, interspersing accounts of life events among descriptions of personal philosophy and deepening spirituality...she effectively stresses the value of working with therapists, writing in journals, and pursuing meditation throughout the book, and she goes into specific detail while doing so." —Kirkus Reviews


"By sharing her lifetime of trauma and a "spiritual tapestry fabricated from the finest fibers of various belief systems," including Eastern religion, New Age spirituality, and the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous, Flanagan encourages readers to face their pain and develop unconditional self-love...a courageous act of full disclosure, a soul-cleansing the author encourages her readers to replicate in their own way to build trust in themselves and others, noting: "When you heal, I heal, and when we heal, the world heals."...anyone suffering from emotional angst, feelings of inferiority, or substance abuse will find kind, authentic guidance here to a life of greater peace, love, and forgiveness."—BlueInk Review


"Turning the trauma and isolation of Covid into a triumphant period of self-growth and healing, Amanda McKoy Flanagan imbues each page of Trust Yourself to Be All In with uplifting energy and a clear hope for the world. Drawing largely from her personal experiences of pain, grief, self-sabotage, addiction, and eventual transcendence, this is both a raw memoir and a gentle guide...Both joyful and radical in its approach, Trust Yourself to Be All In is an uplifting and transformative read for people who have fallen into despair or are teetering on the edge. Focusing instead on compassion, love, trust, connection, and community, this polished and powerful book is recommended for readers looking for innovative ways to lift themselves out of modern malaise, which is so endemic to the current moment."—Self-Publishing Review


"Flanagan...lays bare her life story of how she finally found the path toward recovery and healing after almost 40 years of pain and grief while battling alcoholism, repressed childhood sexual trauma, dysfunctional relationships, and more...a true story of a woman's journey to get her life back on track, overcoming overwhelming odds along the way through sheer resilience and a dogged determination to live life to its fullest...a deeply personal story that will appeal to anyone who has suffered through loss and grief. Highly recommended."—Readers' Favorite, 5-star review

"Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go is a remarkable and intimate debut from Amanda McKoy Flanagan. To say this book spoke to me would tell only half the story; it also listened. Flanagan's intentional structuring of chapters and personal revelations creates a storytelling framework that leads the reader on a parallel journey to arrive at their own destinations and personal conclusions...a conversational, almost prescient narrative...a book written not to give answers, but to encourage the asking of questions, the perpetual seeking of truth."—Joanna Monahan, author of Something Better

"Our world is suffering from collective pain. In Trust Yourself to Be All In, Amanda McKoy Flanagan shows us how this pain can inspire action, and from that action, we can truly heal. In this unflinchingly honest look into all our emotions and what it means to be human, Flanagan gives us every tool we need to live a life of meaning, despite the pain...An emotional masterclass on grief and healing. The book everyone needs right now." —Rea Frey, award-winning, bestselling author of Not Her Daughter and CEO of Writeway

"Trust Yourself to Be All In is an invaluable account of recognizing our self-destructive behaviors, being willing to change, and the importance of learning to love ourselves in order to love and be loved. No matter the cause of a person's emotional trauma, readers will relate to the self-deprecating depths of despair the author enters and be inspired by her vulnerable and brave accounts of healing."—Christy Texeira, award-winning author of Pink Elephants, A Mother's Story of Faith, Strength, and Perseverance

"Trust Yourself to Be All In is a haunting memoir about love, loss, and recovery. Amanda's memoir is a riveting account of another Nietzschean insight: whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. She takes us on a journey through harrowing grief to self-forgiveness and healing. I was especially impressed with her discussion of Kintsugi, the Japanese art form that finds beauty in brokenness. Amanda is The Real McKoy." —Jeffrey Berman, Distinguished Teaching Professor of English, and author of Dying to Teach: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Learning

"From the start, Amanda McKoy Flanagan adds value to her memoir that elevates it beyond personal experience alone. Suggestions for viewing relationships, change, growth, and healing in a different way offer not only examples and 'how to' notes, but explore the 'whys' of more positive pathways and results...will spark debates and discussion among a wide range of readers and book club groups on subjects ranging from religious inspections of moral and ethical choices and their impacts to the ideals of reframing actions, reactions, and the perspectives of others. Libraries and readers seeking self-help workbooks that take the form of memoirs on life lessons will find Trust Yourself to Be All In enlightening, hopeful, and deceptively easy to read. It's deceptive because the real work lies not just in its reading, but in its audience's slow absorption of new ways of viewing and interacting within the world." —D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review

"The overriding and admirable virtue of Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go by Amanda McKoy Flanagan is the courage, vulnerability, and honesty the author applies to a well-chronicled but timeless subject: overcoming trauma and addiction. The author has not only done the work to know herself but has taken the additional step of knowing the related science, bestowing on her content credibility. She has devoted an impressive amount of time, angst, and energy delving into human nature, how we function, what challenges trauma and addiction can throw in our paths, and effective methods for combating and overcoming them. She is at once thoughtful, conscientious, and transparent, laying her soul bare, which should resonate with a wide berth of audience who have or know people who have endured similar life trials...the writing is stellar. The author has an advanced command of language and delights in creating imagery. She is a devoted writer, the kind of author who thinks long and hard about what she wants to say and how to say it. It is an accomplished work...an important work, with a powerful takeaway: we each have the capacity to know and love ourselves, warts and all, and, vitally, the fortitude to survive life's most exacting challenges."—Reader Views

"Amanda's story is not just about loss and grief but also about resilience and healing. The narrative follows her as she confronts and manages an anxiety disorder, navigates the near breakdown of her marriage, and embarks on a journey toward recovery. The decision to relocate and the challenges of adapting to a new environment without familiar support systems are also explored, showcasing her strength and adaptability. The author's candidness and emotional depth make this memoir particularly engaging. Amanda's experiences are conveyed with a sincerity that invites empathy and reflection.
Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go is not just a chronicle of hardships; it's a testament to the human spirit's capacity to endure and grow. This book is a compelling read for those interested in memoirs that offer a deeply personal and touching narrative filled with genuine emotion and the triumphs of overcoming life's adversities." —Literary Titan

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0C4MNCJGP
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ For Real Press (May 8, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 234 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8985673500
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.5 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.59 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 118 ratings

About the author

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Amanda McKoy Flanagan

Amanda McKoy Flanagan

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Winner of the 2023 Gold CIPA EVVY Award and The BookFest Fall 2023 Gold and Silver Awards!

A native New Yorker turned Coloradan, Amanda McKoy Flanagan blends street smarts with tree hugging for a sensible and spiritual approach to loving and losing; she is no stranger to either. Author, blogger, motivational speaker, and podcaster, Amanda recently released her debut inspirational memoir, Trust Yourself to Be All In: Safe to Love and Let Go and is the co-host of the Sol Rising Podcast.

Co-founder of the 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, Castle Rock Clubhouse, a recovery clubhouse that serves as meeting space for various twelve-step programs, Amanda is passionate about sobriety, meditation, and spirituality. Through her commitment to climate action, she holds the spirit of loving-kindness, faithful perseverance, and compassionate service in high regard. A lover of horses, drumming, running, vegan eating, and dancing, she also enjoys singing with abandon to loud rock music.

Amanda holds a bachelor’s degree from the State University of New York at Albany in English and journalism and a master’s degree in social work from Stony Brook University, New York. Nevertheless, life has been her greatest teacher by far.

She lives in Castle Rock, Colorado, with her family and pup, Dolly.

Amanda is available for speaking engagements and to join you for book club.

Make sure to check out Amanda's podcast, Sol Rising: All In on Love, Loss, and Connection. Available wherever you listen.

Customer reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5
118 global ratings
This Book RELATES to EVERYONE !
5 Stars
This Book RELATES to EVERYONE !
I'm a person who grew up with divorced parents and also left a religious cult. I dove into books by Brene Brown ( quoted in this book too) upon my exit and many other doctors and authors as well, focused on healing past traumas, deep wounds , shifting perspectives and unlearning behaviors associated with limited thinking. Amanda's book ties in her personal experiences in a way that practically anyone can relate to as well as providing sound advice about how she moved through her pain with the help of her counselors, therapy modalities, addiction recovery programs and finding peace in Nature & Yoga. She has sought healthy living and light through her process and provides practical counsel for others to follow. May you read this and be set free to be ALL IN on making the most of your Life and the gifts we have as we all heal , for ourselves and that in turn heals the collective world ( or at least the part of it we are living in). Thank You Amanda, for writing with such clarity and vulnerability!
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Top reviews from the United States

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Vulnerable, raw, and an important read for healing
Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2024
Verified Purchase
What the author has to say comes from a place of raw authenticity, grounding, humility, and truth. It comes from her lived experience. It's easy to write about what we think we know, or what others think they know, but to put into words what people are needing to hear in relatable ways -- that's what this book does. It creates a space relatable, and safe enough to begin to ask the bigger question - are you ready to go on your own healing journey? It takes courage to face yourself. This book does just that.
Transformation always leads us... and it leads us through the loss, and through the grief, not around it. I would recommend this book to anyone who has dealt with grief, addiction, loss, healing, trauma --- but most importantly, I would recommend this book to people who are READY to do the work. I am grateful for this book; I am grateful for healers and spiritual leaders like Amanda M. Flanagan. Truly - great work!
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Anonymous
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written book! A MUST read.
Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2023
Verified Purchase
This book is a must read, very healing and helpful for anything a person is going through and can use some support to overcome. It reads like coffee or a cup of tea with a friend, you feel the love that went into the writing and feel the emotions of the writer in every word. This really helped me in a difficult time in my life of self reflection and self work after grief and unplanned life changing events in my life. It is more than a "self help" book but a book with the raw emotion of the writer's examples of her own trials, her grief and the mountains she climbed to get to where she is. To the person she (and YOU) is/are meant to be. Very good book and very hard to put down!
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James Lane
5.0 out of 5 stars Brave, honest, compelling, and useful
Reviewed in the United States on December 7, 2023
Verified Purchase
As someone who has dealt with a few "I can't feel any lower" type crises, I applaud the author for having the courage to put her various stories down for others to relate to and learn from. Her stories of personal trauma struck a nerve and her path to recovery was an inspiration. I haven't faced my demons head on and now I feel like it's time. I needed a good kick in the butt and this book did it. Thank you for motivating me to help myself.
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kristen
5.0 out of 5 stars This author walks the talk.
Reviewed in the United States on October 20, 2023
Verified Purchase
A real, honest, and motivating sharing of experience from an authentic to-thine-own-self-be-true author. Amanda McKoy Flanagan provides practical, applicable tools and action steps to emotional freedom - how to deconstruct emotional walls that impact life experience and relationships. She brilliantly takes esoteric ideas about healing and translates them into a digestible and doable how-to-break-free-and-live-beautifully. McKoy Flanagan builds trust with the reader, and feels like a close companion - you can tell this author is a woman of action, who speaks from a place of experience and hope. Really looking forward to the next publication from this author.
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Corrine E. Christian
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book RELATES to EVERYONE !
Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2023
Verified Purchase
I'm a person who grew up with divorced parents and also left a religious cult. I dove into books by Brene Brown ( quoted in this book too) upon my exit and many other doctors and authors as well, focused on healing past traumas, deep wounds , shifting perspectives and unlearning behaviors associated with limited thinking. Amanda's book ties in her personal experiences in a way that practically anyone can relate to as well as providing sound advice about how she moved through her pain with the help of her counselors, therapy modalities, addiction recovery programs and finding peace in Nature & Yoga. She has sought healthy living and light through her process and provides practical counsel for others to follow. May you read this and be set free to be ALL IN on making the most of your Life and the gifts we have as we all heal , for ourselves and that in turn heals the collective world ( or at least the part of it we are living in). Thank You Amanda, for writing with such clarity and vulnerability!
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Corrine E. Christian
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book RELATES to EVERYONE !
Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2023
I'm a person who grew up with divorced parents and also left a religious cult. I dove into books by Brene Brown ( quoted in this book too) upon my exit and many other doctors and authors as well, focused on healing past traumas, deep wounds , shifting perspectives and unlearning behaviors associated with limited thinking. Amanda's book ties in her personal experiences in a way that practically anyone can relate to as well as providing sound advice about how she moved through her pain with the help of her counselors, therapy modalities, addiction recovery programs and finding peace in Nature & Yoga. She has sought healthy living and light through her process and provides practical counsel for others to follow. May you read this and be set free to be ALL IN on making the most of your Life and the gifts we have as we all heal , for ourselves and that in turn heals the collective world ( or at least the part of it we are living in). Thank You Amanda, for writing with such clarity and vulnerability!
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Charles L.
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that doesn’t hold back
Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2024
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I came across this book after I lost a close friend. It really helped me deal with issues of regret that I had with his death and other issues I avoided facing. This isn’t a fairy tale chant “namaste” type of book, the author reveals a lot of personal tragic stories. It’s not about forgetting everything that happens to you but using the right tools to move on. It was an easy read and a book I would definitely recommend to someone who wants to hear a real story of moving on from difficult times in our life.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Real Life Inspiration
Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2023
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I've always loved writing that uses someone's real life experience to inspire you to look at your own life and habits, and Trust Yourself to Be All In certainly does that. Raw truths and vulnerability set this book apart from others. I read this and immediately took tools through the author's own experiences that I could begin applying to my own life. I loved everything about this book and highly recommend it.
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