Table of Contents
Prologue 1
Introduction 3
Chapter 1 And Now for Something Completely Different 7
Chapter 2 Monty Hall, the Pope, and the Wicked Witch of the East 10
Chapter 3 Why Are There Monkeys? 15
Chapter 4 Close Encounters of the Third Cousin Kind 33
Chapter 5 I'll Take Gibberish for $800, Alex 38
Chapter 6 Take Two Troglodytes and Call Me in the Morning 41
Chapter 7 Christians, Muslims, and Jews, Oh My! 48
Chapter 8 Faith, Dope, and Clarity or Three Million Men Named Jesus 56
Chapter 9 Kiss My Ass or Miracles, Mets, and Mules 61
Chapter 10 People, People Who See Dead People 66
Chapter 11 Will the Real Marie Antoinette Please Stay Dead 69
Chapter 12 Of Mice and Menageries 72
Chapter 13 And Why Were You Born? 76
Chapter 14 My Karma Ran Over My Dogma 79
Chapter 15 Don't Sin Under the Apple Tree 82
Chapter 16 How Much Is That Pony in the Closet? 86
Chapter 17 If He's Ugly, Stupid, and Rude, He's Probably Not the Devil 90
Chapter 18 A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Monk Walk into A 93
Chapter 19 Tonight on the Late Show-Dead People Cook Dinner 97
Chapter 20 Just Because It's Free Doesn't Mean It Won't Cost You 101
Chapter 21 Is That Your Final Question? 105
Epilogue 112
Acknowledgments 121
About the Author 123
