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Cindy Collins
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Born Under The Gaslight: A Memoir of My Descent Into Borderline Personality Disorder (1) Paperback – April 13, 2020

by Cindy Collins (Author), Sheila Cohen (Foreword)
4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 125 ratings
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“What will the neighbors think?” “Keep your voice down, or the neighbors will hear you screaming.” I never knew The Neighbors, but, more importantly, they never knew my family. Right next door was a house of horror, and they indeed never knew. This is the story that was carefully concealed from you. This is the story that can happen even if you do grow up with neighbors watching.

From Award-Winning author Cindy Collins comes an unblinkingly honest, poignant, and often heartbreaking firsthand account of what it’s like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) . . . and the pervasive trauma she endured as a child that led to her descent into the dark world of BPD. Gaslighted by her mother—who cultivated an outward appearance of being the perfect wife and mother—Cindy suffered ongoing sexual abuse by multiple family members, abandonment, and cruelty at the hands of the one person who should have loved and protected her most. The resulting fits of rage, extreme thinking, difficulty maintaining relations, and depression would set Cindy on a path of destruction until she finally found the hope and courage to fight her demons.

Chronicling her childhood of abuse, her diagnosis of BPD in her twenties, and her ultimate road to recovery, Born Under the Gaslight is a memoir like none you have ever read before. Offering a rare and insightful glimpse into the inner struggles of someone who lives with BPD, Born Under the Gaslight is a must-read for therapists, others living with BPD, and anyone wanting to understand the complexities of BPD and how to offer practical and emotional support.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    174 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    April 13, 2020
  4. Dimensions
    5 x 0.4 x 8 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    1734681519
  6. ISBN-13
    978-1734681512
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"In Born Under the Gaslight, Cindy Collins has succinctly and vividly portrayed a woman struggling to emerge from a legacy of abuse and trauma occurring against a fundamentally "crazymaking" backdrop. The writing is brutally honest, and the story is heartbreaking as we hear of a life lived in a pinball machine, punctuated by chaos, turbulent relationships, job instability, and other hallmark challenges of borderline personality disorder. Gradually, Collins' path to recovery becomes clearer, showing the importance of love, compassion, and connection in her personal life and therapy. I highly recommend this memoir as an honest, frank portrayal of the challenges many people with borderline personality disorder face."

-Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.

About the Author

Cindy Collins is an author diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Her first work, Born Under the Gaslight, is a memoir of her life living with this mental illness. Her work tells the struggle of being born into abuse, graduating to a life of a homeless, drug-dealing street racer to her recovery through dialectic behavioral therapy. She hopes to inspire others battling mental illness. Her life has included various adventures ranging from training on a trapeze, starting a fire center for fire performers, and running obstacle courses with SWAT. Obtaining work as a massage therapist or a chef, her life has been in constant flux with new experiences. Cindy loves her life that consists of her husband Darrin and their dog Bozworth. She is just at ok status with her bitchy cat.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Indomitable Publishing, LLC (April 13, 2020)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 174 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1734681519
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1734681512
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.4 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 125 ratings

About the author

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Cindy Collins

Cindy Collins

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Cindy Collins is an Award-Winning author diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Her first work, Born Under the Gaslight, is a memoir of her life living with this mental illness. Her work tells the struggle of being born into abuse, graduating to a life of a homeless, drug-dealing street racer to her recovery through dialectic behavioral therapy. She hopes to inspire others battling mental illness.

As an author, she has been featured on the radio show "It Matters with Kelly Cordes" on WJON FM 95.3/AM 1240, Dayton Daily News, and Swaay.com. She was a guest speaker on the Psychology of Victims of Crime & Violence for Dr. Jan Yager at Iona College. Born Under the Gaslight achieved #1 Best Seller in Personality Disorders on Amazon in the US, UK, and Germany.

Born Under the Gaslight is featured in the Ohioana Book Festival 2021. Born Under the Gaslight was recognized as a finalist in The Next Generation Indie Book Awards 2021. Award Winning Finalist in the Health: Psychology and Mental Health category of the 2021 Best Book Awards sponsored by American Book Fest.

Her life has included various adventures ranging from training on the trapeze to starting a fire center for fire performers. Cindy loves her life that consists of her husband Darrin and their dog Bozworth. She is just at ok status with her bitchy cat.

Customer reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5
125 global ratings
Every other page falls out.
1 Star
Every other page falls out.
The book is amazing. But! the binding is done incorrectly.. i really hope this is just a random mistake but i’ve never had a book fall apart this easily. Again amazing book written so well i can’t put it down but i’m scared i’ll loose a page and i definitely can’t loan it to a friend.. I don’t think the author deserves this
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Top reviews from the United States

Shawn Pierce
5.0 out of 5 stars The best of its kind 100%
Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2020
Verified Purchase
Im so happy I read this book! Born Under the Gaslight was so relatable that when I finished I wanted to reach out to Cindy to give her a hug... and also trade stories. Mostly I wanted to thank her for putting her story out there for others to read and understand. I have already made several highlights in the book on my favorite parts. Born Under the Gaslight dives deep into the experiences that play a role in creating a person with borderline personality disorder. There are many books out there about BPD but this one really hits the nail on the head when it comes to expressing how it truly feels to have borderline. She does an amazing job capturing what it’s really like jumping from personality to personality, job to job, emotion to emotion... I haven’t read a memoir this illuminating since Wasted from Marya Hornbacher. I can’t wait for more people to read this so I can discuss it with them.
7 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy to read, but so informative!
Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2021
Verified Purchase
A real lived personal experience of Borderline Personality Disorder. This will have special appeal for teens & young adults, but even the mature and elderly who've suffered PTSD &/ child abuse & sexual abuse, may find their symptoms and identify with some of Cindy's behaviours and feelings right here! Cindy's journey is well put together and reads almost like a novel, without the reader realizing how much information they are uploading! An excellent read for all with mental health challenges & those who work with them and with youth in general!!
2 people found this helpful
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JM
3.0 out of 5 stars Short book that exhausts
Reviewed in the United States on October 18, 2020
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There are no “normal” people. I believe we are all somewhat unbalanced and we all react differently in situations. Obviously this woman dealt with a horrible childhood that caused emotional scarring and damage. I wish her nothing but the best on her journey to recovery.
2 people found this helpful
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Lori D'Amico
4.0 out of 5 stars This Could Be A Movie
Reviewed in the United States on September 29, 2020
Verified Purchase
I won't lie, I ordered this book for two reasons: it was inexpensive and, I have struggled with some of the same diagnoses. My diagnoses are older and therapy has helped immensely, but the labels ARE still stigmatized and people suffer needlessly though it is gaining more acceptance!
I liked the raw honesty in this book! Despite the fact that the author's illness caused her to act out in ways that are not socially acceptable and in some cases were downright illegal, Cindy did not sugarcoat her actions nor does she try to solicit pity. Unquestionably however, this lady deserves respect, empathy and compassion. Her mom could be described as "bat-shit crazy" and THAT would be generous! To be sure, the mother played a big part in the development of the author's Borderline Personality Disorder. To treat your child the way this woman treated hers -- especially her daughter, is reprehensible and as far as I am concerned, I think she should be held accountable but I can certainly see why Cindy felt it best to just have nothing more to do with them!
This book is engaging, at times sad, other times entertaining and an interesting first hand account of a woman's journey from a frenzied existence to a more fulfilling life. I wish her and her husband the best.
5 people found this helpful
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Jason Marshall Thomas
5.0 out of 5 stars Life Changing
Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2020
Verified Purchase
I have consumed more self improvement non-fiction in my life than I can count, and this book is going to have more of an effect on me than everything else put together. Although I do not have BPD, I am on the trauma-caused "dissociation spectrum", and I can see so much of myself reflected in Cindy's story that it's kind of scary. The very next book I have started on after this is a DBT workbook. I have a lot to unpack from inside myself after this book. If you had a narcissistic or neglectful parent, were bullied in school, or otherwise were subjected to emotional, physical, or sexual trauma as a child, you owe it to that wounded child inside yourself to read this book.
6 people found this helpful
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Amberlynne
5.0 out of 5 stars A refreshing perspective on borderline personality disorder.
Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2020
Verified Purchase
I've read many books on borderline personality disorder, and Born Under the Gaslight has been my favorite so far! While most books on BPD tend to focus on how to "fix" us or how to help others "deal with" us, this memoir gives you a first-hand look at how other people's words and actions have an impact on us, and how we internalize it. This isn't a typical mental health story with a ton of medical jargon and confusing comparisons. It's a true page-turner, thrilling and hilarious, yet heartbreaking and vulnerable. It's like looking through a keyhole into the mind of someone suffering. I read it in one sitting!
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars Not the best book on this subject.
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
While I genuinely liked the author, I think she could have used an editor. She has a compelling story to tell.
One person found this helpful
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John
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful read
Reviewed in the United States on May 15, 2020
Verified Purchase
There wasn't a part in this story that I disliked. It opened my mind to a world I never knew much about, and showed me the unbelievable strength that Cindy, and so many others have. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
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Top reviews from other countries

suman
5.0 out of 5 stars Great work
Reviewed in India on August 15, 2020
Verified Purchase
Author's personal account has opened the doors for many unhealed and misdiagnosed borderlines to come out.Her story is a ray of hope.
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