My secret to happiness is to be completely upfront with what I want and, trust me, it has nothing to do with Laney’s heart. Her lips? Yeah. A few other parts of her body? You better believe it. But her heart? Nope. Not even a little.
Until it does . . . a lot.
Forget I said that. I don’t have feelings for anyone. They were all ripped out of me when I was a kid.
This thing between Laney and me could be great. But we have to follow certain rules. We have a good time—no dates, no sleepovers, no expectations. When one of us is ready for something new or if she starts getting too attached, we move on with no hard feelings. Win-win, and everybody’s happy.
I came into this thinking it would be the same thing as it had always been and that she was like any other woman.
It isn’t. She isn’t.
But how do I tell her she deserves someone better, someone who can love her, someone who’s not broken, if I can’t seem to let her go?
I finally get it. And to think, it only took my heart being pried out of my chest and stomped on five separate times by men who claimed they loved me. That’s got to be a record, right?
Let me put it as simply as I can.
Fairy tales aren’t real. Love is a lie. And, at least in my experience, sex never comes with a happy ending.
Fortunately, I still have a battery-operated boyfriend who’ll never fall out of love with me. I won’t walk in on him in bed with another woman either. Nope. As long as I keep supplying him with fresh batteries, B.O.B’s only purpose in life is to make me happy.
And, I deserve to be happy. I’m a nice person. I work hard. And, most importantly, I've learned an important lesson: to never, ever let a man near my heart again.
Unfortunately, some people never learn.